Sexuality is such a taboo subject that it is difficult to find a space to talk about it comfortably and safely. This is why when we have any questions about this area, we feel that we are the only ones in the world who are experiencing this problem, but nothing is further from the truth.
Doubts about sex remain practically the same since these issues began to be talked about more openly just a few decades ago. For this reason, the National Coalition for Sexual Health, an organization in the United States, took on the task of compiling the most frequent questions for many people, and also providing a guide on how to resolve such doubts.
Shared concerns
That thing that does not let you sleep at night and that you may be afraid to share with your partner does not only affect you. There are many other minds that are thinking the same thing right now. Among these topics are:
• Lack of sexual desire. This can present as a complete disinterest in having sex, or as a lack of physiological response when sexual intercourse is about to take place.
• Pain during vaginal penetration. This problem mainly affects women, but it could also be experienced by men, for example, those who are not circumcised.
• Ejaculation problems. The most common problem in this area is early or premature ejaculation, but there are also men who experience difficulty ejaculating or who simply cannot.
• Difficulty reaching orgasm. Men and women can experience various problems that prevent or make it very difficult for them to reach orgasm.
• Erectile dysfunction. Fortunately, the conversation began several years ago on this topic, which is why various strategies have been created to deal with erection difficulties.
• Vaginal dryness. It refers to when not enough lubrication is generated for vaginal penetration to be pleasurable, or even comfortable.
Once you have identified your main concern to achieve a fulfilling sexual life, it is time to ask yourself why these problems arise.
Possible causes of sexual problems
Since human beings experience their sexuality at different levels, it stands to reason that sexual problems are influenced by different factors. Education, information, beliefs and values, experiences and, unfortunately, violence, are just some of the elements that shape our sexual being.
Thus, the problems mentioned above (or others you may be experiencing) can come from sources such as:
• Mental health. This is a fundamental factor for pleasure. No matter how “good” you perform in a sexual relationship, mental well-being is key to a satisfying whole.
• Problems in the couple’s relationship. If you are experiencing a crisis or a conflict with your partner, this will most likely bring negative consequences to your sexual life.
• Paternity and maternity. Although having children can be a wonderful experience, it is also true that the dynamic of the couple changes completely. Lack of sleep, worries or working hours (outside and inside the house) can complicate sexual life.
• Health problems. Many of the diseases have an impact, both physical and emotional, on sexuality. From chronic diseases like diabetes and hypertension to more serious things like cancer and its treatments interfere with sexual well-being.
• The violence. Episodes of sexual violence, whether previous or current, have a clear impact on the exercise of sexuality. Problems such as depression and anxiety come hand in hand with these situations.
Recover your sexual health
If you’re in the middle of one or more of these problems, you may feel stuck and out of options. Fortunately, there are several specialists who can help you out of that situation.
If the conflict is more related to your emotions and your mental state, there are therapists specialized in sexuality who can guide you and treat you, if the problem warrants it. On the other hand, any psychological therapy professional must be trained to deal with these problems.
As for physical problems, doctors dedicated to urology and gynecology know how to treat them and will give you a range of possibilities to get out of your conflict.
If you don’t know exactly where to go, at AHF Latin America and the Caribbean we have open doors to resolve your doubts about sexual health and HIV, in a space free of discrimination. Come to one of our centers, we are in 11 countries in the region.
